Worried about having a third child

-- China will support couples who wish to have a third child, as the aging of the country's population has been increasing in extent in recent years. It's incredible to have a little tribe and fascinating to watch 3 sibling relationships rather than just 1. Unless your child has had previous febrile seizures and you 24 votes, 23 comments. For us, three was what we wanted, and four was the one we were uncertain about. id echo what others have said. What seemed so difficult the first two times around felt like second nature with our third. He is an amazing father. However I would NEVER have them close together. Sep 24, 2007 · geekgirl · 24/09/2007 11:42. 5-year-old girl. That you already have a 10 & 8 year old & are going back to baby stuff is crazy to me and I can't blame you for feeling this way!!! I'll be in your same boat (someday -- my two are 19 months & one still cooking) & I can't imagine having that much freedom again with older children then going back to baby years!! Dec 9, 2023 · It is OK to feel conflicted about having a third child. If pursuing a career is of utmost importance to you then having a 3rd child almost certainly will disrupt that. Feb 6, 2019 · Yes, raising a child comes with unavoidable expenses. Yes, I have two children, but I don't believe it's my lot in life to praise the virtues of having two Apr 7, 2023 · Here are 5 reasons having a third child nearly crippled us: 1. I have 2 babies, a boy and a girl. There is no straight answer. Looking for honest opinions on pros/cons of a third child. Try not to let factors like that scare you away from taking the time to really think and feel out your decision. Just realize your third may be a girl, too. One will have a cavity, one will be starting school, one won’t be eating properly, the list is really endless. You can choose to focus on the negatives, or the positives. They play together and things are getting a little easier but of course they’re still a handful with the fights…. However, having two toddlers eating together can really help. Some might think that unfair, but I think we have the privilege of bringing a life into the world. They love having a young mum. Yes it's visualising the older child that is what is driving me. Oh sure, you can try to squeeze three kids May 9, 2024 · I also have a longing for a third. A cot, a change table, a pram, a car seat, bedding, books, toys, muslin wraps, onesies…we haven’t needed to outlay a cent on those items. My Jul 27, 2010 · So, the answer to your question, 'Yes, I would have regretting not having a third. I didn't enjoy the baby stage at all but I will be sad not to have a third around the table in 5-10 years. It can be very scary if your child has a seizure, but it is usually not serious. '. My goal is to have the older two aged 6 and 3 before having my third. Aug 20, 2019 · 6. ” - Alex, 40, Maryland. Baby would use one of their rooms until they got old enough to share. But wanted some perspective on my particular situation. Okay I have been thinking a lot about this lately. We talked about it once in a while but nothing came of it. In my humble opinion. Takes attention away from other children. Now with a surprise 3rd… Nov 1, 2018 · To feel sad we won’t have a third child. I'm not here to convince anyone not to have a third baby. Feb 25, 2021 · The truth is, adding another child is going to be stressful and more work, period. If you're even considering it, you want a third child at least enough that I can assure you you won't regret it when you have one. It really doesn't matter if anyone else has regretted it, your situation will be dependent on how you and your family manage it. “The entire family is over the moon. Having that third child takes you into uncomfortable territory that takes some getting used to. Mar 3, 2021 · I have 2 kids currently — an almost 5-year-old boy and a 2. Try living on one salary for a few months to determine if a reduction in income is manageable for your Apr 8, 2019 · In wealthy areas, this ratio rose to over 60 percent. All four of his sibs are 2-3 years apart. And for me, the positives far outweighed the negatives. Ok so my b/g twins are almost 3. We have a large enough house for another child. uk) understands why mums of three report higher stress levels. Limiting family size is the trend in countries like Australia, Norway, France and England. I happen to be a third child who didn’t have the easiest upbringing Having our 3rd girl, gender disappointment. I definitely enjoyed motherhood more in my 20s. Mothers of children in K-12 schools are much more likely than fathers to say they are very or extremely worried about a school shooting (39% vs. I had to convince my husband to have a third, he only wanted two kids while all my life I have envisioned a family of three. Almost a decade on from the birth of Alexander, I’ve Nov 10, 2016 · Mumsnet makes parents' lives easier by pooling knowledge, advice and support on everything from conception to childbirth, from babies to teenagers. There is nothing compared to the love of having a baby. In my case, I had healthy eggs at age 30 and was rapidly running out of them at age 32. I also love being only 40 and having a 19 and 17 year old. Mar 13, 2024 · The research also found that there can also be a risk to the pregnant person's health. Awful pregnancy (hypermesis and bedbound for months), a few medical scares which thankfully came to nothing but worried us for weeks until various test results were back, a scary birth (induction, total negligence by the hospital which I’ve received a formal Sep 6, 2017 · The surrogate whom Kanye West and wife Kim Kardashian West hired to carry their third child is pregnant, sources confirm to PEOPLE. 44 percentage points higher than that in 2010. Cons of a third child. But according to the most recent USDA estimates, parents with just one kid spend about 27% of their household expenditures on raising that child, and that percentage rises to 41% when they have two children. I am absolutely desperate to have a third child but DH is worried about the finances. Ranting and gushing is welcome! Tell me your positives about having a 3rd child. As long as you understand all of that and are prepared for the possibility, go for it. This pregnancy is an accident and I've been in total shock ever since I did the test. Listed below are the cons of having a third child. Adoption, ivf, fostering, surrogacy. Feb 20, 2024 · That arrangement can make defining roles difficult. " Jan 11, 2024 · The thought of having a third, fourth, or fifth child would likely trigger mixed feelings. I just wanted to share that the maternal urge can go away. OfCOURSE it isn't 37 is a normal age to have a baby. When they outnumber you, things can get crazy. The breaks you get from going from one to two can’t be relied on for #3. I know it’s the right choice for our family. By the time the third child arrives, you or your partner may be considering scaling back your work hours, or even going part-time. She’s completed our family even if the three of them are aging me far more rapidly than if I’d stopped at one or two 😂. I grew up in 3, and have 3 myself. You’ll do anything to avoid it. Yes you should be spending your time practicing walking with a walking stick not trying for a baby. It did actually seem like a reasonably big step in terms of stress etc. Of course Jun 7, 2024 · All my life plans pretty much revolve around my family so I’d give up anything including comfortable finances and holidays to have my third baby. Here's Alison's 10-point plan to help cope when you've got a family of three or more: 1. Breastfeeding all over Mar 19, 2021 · And some formula. It’s filled with conflicting feelings—excitement and anticipation, but also fear, a bit of regret May 5, 2022 · With a four-year-old and two-year-old at home, and my 30s coming to an end, my window to try for a third child was rapidly narrowing, while my indecisiveness was exponentially growing. Even if you are reaching the end of your reproductive years, there's time, and if a third would really complete your family, there's always an option. In May, we welcomed our third child, Isla Elena. I have hated having such a big gap and for years felt that I could not please everyone all the time. Nov 10, 2016 · Pluto30 · 10/11/2016 07:54. Some common symptoms include: Refusing to attend school. I’d rather stick with 2 than have 3 when they’re all littles. 9. But on the other hand, by number three you are a veteran parent and can handle them a lot better than you probably did with #1. That makes her 13 years younger than me. Hope op finds the answers she is looking for. Oct 13, 2023 · KEG05 · 13/10/2023 14:55. But once a third kid is added to the mix, the overall expense of raising all three Obviously, it's harder to get pregnant past 40, but many women still do. My husband always said he didn’t want three and that two is his ideal. Every time we say that to someone we’re immediately met with a horrified look and some story about how two was perfect and then their lives were ruined by a third. Read all 24597 questions with answers, advice and tips about having a third child from moms' communities. Oct 11, 2023 · Children with anxiety disorders often have emotional outbursts like crying or tantrums. Reply reply. Easier. 1. Before my 3rd baby was born, my husband and I were spending a lot of time together in the evenings after the other two were in bed and even before bedtime because they are old enough to play for long periods of time and entertain each other. One ‘rational’ benefit of having a third baby is that we already have the big ticket baby items. 10 years apart might be an issue, but 5 isn't too bad. Some say you know when your family is complete and I dint feel that way after two. Some of the advice from Moms is: Preparing Sibblings for a Third Child, Having a Baby After 35?, Is 3 to Many? Feb 12, 2007 · Instead, try to support your child in pursuing sports or other activities and clubs where he or she can meet people and make friends, he advises. we have the space and should be able to afford a third with a bit more careful budgeting. Advice. In fact, roughly a quarter of mothers (24%) say they are extremely worried. Like you, I had a really negative experience with my second. But this pregnancy is different from my first two. From my experience, adding a third child wasn’t really that much harder than having two. They say the 3rd child just fits straight in. And the trouble with the marriage kingdom of two is that one vote cancels another, effectively handing each of you a veto. Also on this point, I think no one person has a "right" to have a child. I am having such bad anxiety about having a third. 83 replies. May 2, 2010 · Divorced and remarried and had my 3rd at 32. It's Harder to Leave Them. Most children go through phases of not eating well. When you go from two to three kids, you have to switch from playing man-to-man defence, to playing zone defence. Feb 27, 2024 · 1. Jun 23, 2017 · Reassurance can make worries grow. I have two beautiful children and I know that makes me very lucky. my third was kind of an 'oops' and in my mind, we had the perfect family already as it was, a girl and a boy, (ages 10 & 5) and I worried . Took me days to work up the courage to tell my husband as I know he doesn't want more kids. But it is also exhausting, chaotic and out of your control. Between us we earn £65k before tax etc and both our jobs are quite flexible so don’t pay for after school clubs etc. My 6-year-old daughter and 4-year-old son love each other to death — but also, they’re siblings, so sometimes it seems like they’re going to love each other to actual death. I remember telling my husband, “I’m going to be 46 when I give birth to our baby—46!” Even I thought I was too old to be having another kid. Flexibility Is Your Friend Jul 24, 2013 · Rates of secondary infertility are difficult to pin down, because couples often feel guilty seeking treatment when they already have a child, or they are told that their previous fertility proves that nothing is wrong. My wife (40) and I (41) have two kids 10 & 7 and they are amazing. They might try to escape, hide and be “on the lookout for danger” much of the time. I also agree with Fennel, love having 3 most of the time but there have been occasional pangs of regret. My health issues during pregnancy made recovery difficult Mar 17, 2016 · Let it be known that if there is one thing not worth skimping on it’s nappy quality. With that said, we have lost the freedom we had by having just the two boys , who are now 10 and 7. Money is tight, I am staying home again (happily but less income coming in). Having a baby daughter 9 years after my middle child and second son at the age of 40, 5 days before my 41st birthday (yes, we’re both high-energy Scorpios), has been an eye-opening, life-changing experience. Mar 6, 2024 · Here are the pros and cons of having a third child. Having your first child is eye-opening for sure but by the time you go through it the third time, things have changed. 7 percent of the country's total population in 2020, 5. However, there are several things that you can take into consideration to decide if a third child will work out well for you, your household, and your future baby. I had my third at 37. I love my 3rd kid to death, and I’m literally It’s hard to keep up with chores, work, each other, and the children when you’re outnumbered. Someone always wants to play with you, giggle with you or be held by you. It’s as heartwarming as it sounds and does wonders for the ego. Kim had been looking for My DH is 5 years younger than his next closest sibling. I'm 35, DH 36. The kids have a room each now and ask to share at weekends. e. I'm getting older and feel a little bit of time… Here are eight ways having another baby has changed the way I parent. Jul 27, 2010 · I'm happily married with two girls: 6 and 4 years old. May 6, 2018 · The third-born enters a household with parents who have had years of experience in raising children, and feel more relaxed about each sniffle or diaper rash. We go around and around in circles for the umpteenth time. Firstly, no child should be brought into the world without being 100% wanted by both parents (i. I also felt much more tired. My husband and I were really hoping for a boy as this is our last. our kids have no cousins so I like the idea of them having more than one sibling. My eldest two are boys, the youngest is a girl. When you have your third child, you have a pre-schooler and a toddler both claiming they are the center of the universe. A lot of the time. 3 close in age might have been too much for me. You can get away with a 3 bedroom house, though, since you already have 2 daughters. While we had the experience of raising one child, we didn’t have the experience of raising one child while raising another. I mean, nothing can really prepare you for the lack of sleep. When we got married at age 23 we as a couple decided that mom would stay home to raise the children. I confirmed yesterday I'm pregnant with an unplanned 3rd and unfortunately my husband is completely against it for multiple reasons: fewer opportunities to offer our children, division of attention between siblings, the diamond effect (one child often feeling left-out), less personal and travel time for our family, pressure on our finances Jul 27, 2018 · Why you wouldn’t want to have a third child. Sep 29, 2015 · Yes, Lily you are right, individual families have different 'right' sizes. You won’t feel as much pressure to have all-equal parenting styles. 5 yo. I wouldn’t say I regret having a third kid, but I think very often how much easier it was with only 2. I struggle giving t Nov 6, 2023 · I have 3 and am contemplating a 4th! Unless financially you are struggling I don't really see that 3 is hugely different to two it just depends how you choose to live and what your priorities are. First child at 24, second at 26, third child at age 29, miscarriage at age 32, forth and last age 36. m. Award. So. Maybe I wanted Oct 27, 2017 · I saw us as a family of five. We are undecided on having a third baby! For: we enjoy having a busy family, both of us like having kids. -- Chinese people aged 60 or above accounted for 18. These power dynamics are one of the most common reasons parents regret having a third baby. scallywag1980. 2 hours playing and 2 hours sleeping. I could come up with many reasons for wanting a third baby: Maybe biology was just screwing with me, filling me with hormones that demanded the warm weight of a baby in my arms. The boys are only 18mo apart, so get along like a house on fire. In the past two years a lot has changed, both my But this was one decision where the possibility of regret left a pit in my stomach. It’s even more expensive than you think. I’ll be honest: When I first found out I was pregnant at 45 (while on birth control, no less), I think I hyperventilated. Apr 1, 2019 · 10 Reasons To Hold Back On Kid #3. The worry was in vain, as I had a perfectly healthy baby girl. My kids are 5, 2, and 11 months. Apr 30, 2023 · That's not even old compared to a lot of people I know. Or maybe you are simply wondering how you and your family could rise to the challenge — logistically, financially, and energy-wise . On the flip side, longer intervals—more than 59 months between pregnancies—have been associated with Apr 26, 2021 · 1. Quite apart from the fact that when you add another child you add another expense column, a third shouldn’t technically cost you 33. Worries are “What if?” thoughts. This wasn’t a decision I even expected to be considering at this point in my life. Jan 24, 2012 · 1) Milk comes out of both of your boobs when you nurse, not just the one your baby is attached to. Mealtimes. I work 2 days a week. Jun 2, 2021 · The reality shock that comes from having your first baby is quite something. When you're having a third baby, you should also look at your budget from an income perspective. Not because you're so attached to them that you can't stand the thought of leaving, but because it's a big ask to have friends or family take care of three children Jun 8, 2021 · I currently have a 5 year old and an 18 month old. “Having three kids totally changes the family dynamic It’s difficult to put into words, but our kids were 9 and 7 when our third baby was born. Yep, you’re getting a minivan. 3 is definitely harder work than 2. Jul 1, 2019 · If your child has unrealistic worries about becoming ill or about germs, he may wash his hands excessively or constantly ask you for reassurance that he won’t get sick. Look at the bigger picture – Having a house full of children and going on adventures Career Changes. It hasn't really been an issue for him. Neither slept the first couple of years so we felt we were done. after that. What we originally deem difficult eventually fades, making way for the next phase. I look at it as being fortunate enough to even have had the blessing of being able to have three kids to begin with. Perhaps you felt you were done with having children and set new goals for yourself. I have 2 boys 5 & 3. , 2022; Yan et al. Oct 18, 2022 · It follows the fatal shooting of 19 students and two teachers at an elementary school in Uvalde, Texas, in May. I never should have worried. Reply. It’s hard to think this could be the last time experiencing this. Quote. Apparently it’s harder going from 1 to 2 children. If you have question to ask, a story to tell, or a statement to make about family feel free to post. I know when this child arrives, I will feel overjoyed (and sleep deprived) and grateful. Much. I have 13, 4 and 10 month old DD’s. threesacrowd3333 · 21/10/2019 08:43. “Don’t worry. In addition, "if parents observe the way their Jan 29, 2023 · Fortunately we knew we could afford 3 children and we started later thanks to infertility having my first, so we were in a good financial position having saved on two incomes for many years. Other cross-sectional surveys have also demonstrated that ‘older age/personal health status’ is the biggest barrier to having a third child (Kang et al. We all have different views and opinions this is just a place to share the ones we have on family. Jan 25, 2021 · It’s natural for children to fear any form of separation or distance from their parents, just like parents feel fear when their child is away from them or in someone else’s care. To me, she’s just my sister. I keep thinking we should have just stayed with two. Eager arms are always outstretched and waiting to hug you, and you will constantly find a child or three snuggling into your side. 24%). You Have More Household Chores. It takes a lot of agility to be a second-time parent, and you really have to revamp your whole approach to teamwork. Begin with deciding to take a designated break (one to three months) from any discussion about the topic with your partner. And I felt at peace for the first time. From doing the dishes to laundry, grocery shopping, and cleaning the house, your household chores rack up in the numbers department. there will be no little "accidents" here). We felt like we would be losing the freedom that comes as kids get older and more self-sufficient. However, three years later, she had her final child. My husband and I want a 3rd. Three haven't presented an issue thus far, really. I keeping thinking about our jobs, balancing life, three college tuitions, three weddings, a newborn baby, breastfeeding, etc. As a result, the thirdborn is often a Oct 8, 2019 · The longing for a third is just as powerful as the longing for a first. Mar 29, 2021 · It does get easier. NoTeaForMe · 01/11/2018 22:39. But, this is parenthood. Jul 15, 2021 · I'm 39 and married with a 5 yo boy and 3 yo girl. Having 3 (or 4) children is amazing, but if you don't like the idea of chaos, disorder and being spread thin at times, a third isn't for you - at least right now. I think you need to give this your best shot, as you will probably always resent him and regret the longed-for child. Jul 9, 2022 · Having a Third Baby at 40 and the Reality of Juggling Three Kids. July 9, 2022. Your chances of miscarriage, chromosomal anomolies and other developmental problems increase, as well. Jun 23, 2022 · My third child, Selina, was a beautiful surprise. #2 · May 6, 2013. Sad about not having a third child. That was fine, I love her very much and not once have I thought of her as my half-sister. It often coincides with the arrival of a new sibling, but can also be one of the first ways your child asserts her independence. However, I always pictured having three children. Aug 11, 2020 · Filed Under: Motherhood Tagged With: african american stay at home mom, black stay at home mom, husband does not want a third child, i am worried about having a third child, I want more kids, i want to have another baby, keri kavali, pros and cons of having a third baby, soon to be mommy of three, stay at home moms of color, the truth about Oct 29, 2009 · There are a few things that I now realise (though its taken a while to get there). Eg, my twin boys would often have a 4 hour nap in the middle of the day. If your child has a fit – try to stay calm. My kids are nearly 5 and just turned 1. The leap from two to three is hard. “I worry we’ll never have time for just us. Dec 7, 2020 · With 3 it’s more intense and constant simply because there is no down time in between things to be worried about. If you’re the type of parent who enjoys spoiling your children with new things, having a third child gives you an excuse to do so! 9. Feb 17, 2014 · However children’s life coach and author Naomi Richards (thekidscoach. 2. Having a third child is like signing up for a Spartan Warrior Bootcamp, and hey – it’s not easy. I had 2 and then a nice big gap and its lovely. Unhealthy worries about the safety of family members. Dec 9, 2023 · No I wasn't clear. I may not be in the same situation as you as mental health is concerned. Aug 20, 2020 · “I have two kids, ages 7 and 5. Jan 9, 2022 · My husband and I have 2 children; DS is 8 and DD is 3. But let’s be real – with three kids you need a minivan. I found out a week ago that I am about 4 weeks pregnant with my 3rd baby. FreshmanPhenom. Just one or two years can change fertility. Also I agree, having time helps. Lately we've been thinking about adding a 3rd and final child to our family. These fears are often Apr 28, 2021 · Whether or not you should have a third baby really depends. It was extremely difficult to recover while dealing with two other kids. Everyone I’ve talked to who’s had more than one child has confirmed that having two children is much more Jun 1, 2021 · China to support couples having third child. Children quickly learn to take advantage of the situation, and chaos will ensue. Taking the time to do that isn’t a sacrifice. Living in Canada everything is crazy expensive but we do ok. org. We make decent money. Treating fever with paracetamol or ibuprofen does not prevent fits. I love babies and breastfeeding. May 17, 2010 · Ok, so I know that I am way late in posting a response to this, but when I read your post, I just had to! I myself just had my third baby last year and I have to tell you, I was just as worried as you (maybe even more so!) about adding a third to the mix. Their first child together was 10 years younger than me. all "family" seems to be defined as 2 adults, 2 kids. Obviously I’ve read all of the myriad mumsnet threads on whether to go for it or not. But no I could never regret our choice for a third. If you’re single, stop ruminating about it or talking about it with Jan 3, 2020 · I worried silently in the days before and after each ultrasound and tried to mentally prepare myself should my baby be born with disabilities. , and nothing is geared towards families with 3 - pckage holidays for example are completely out of the question. Reliving the sleepless nights. Oct 14, 2021 · Having three kids means buying more clothes, toys, books and other items for your kids. 2) Packing lunch for your first-grader at 9 p. Loudly. That’s not going to happen Sep 11, 2017 · 8. You’ll need to make sure that you’re prepared for the chaos of a third child before you Like most things in parenting, it all comes down to your attitude. Jan 19, 2021 · Yes, life with three kids is wonderful. One recent account noted: “Within the decade, half of British families are expected to have only one child, while another study found that 70 percent of Canadian kids under 14 didn’t have siblings. 49 replies. Most of these fits will not cause your child any harm and will last less than 5 minutes. You want to avoid it. They may also show a lot of avoidance. Trying to feel better about it. Apr 28, 2017 · I do now - without a doubt. In addition, kids often have body symptoms, like stomachaches, headaches, nausea, vomiting, shortness of breath or sleep issues. iStock. When children say them aloud, parents tend to respond with reassurance. The cons are as Mavash said, especially for travelling. The "wisdom" I've gleaned so far from mothers of three is quite variedeverything from "going from 2 to 3 children is easier than going from 1 to 2" to "there will never ever be a moment of peace with three children in the family. I allowed the Google results of “having-a-baby-at-40” and the comments of others to rob a little of my joy during my pregnancy. So, a third child. ”. Jan 25, 2019 · They have and will always come first. I let my two older kids “work it out” more. I have three and am having a fourth in January. Pros. “I just don’t know if we can do it. When I had my 2nd kid, I was so overwhelmed and told my husband that we are done having babies. The sleepless nights, the feeling of exhaustion all day. And then the older one starts toilet training and having toddler tantrums, and so you’re dealing with quite a number of challenging child phases on top of looking after a baby (challenging in itself!). I am 35 years old and am pregnant with our third child. Oct 21, 2019 · Having a third child. So going back to diapers and sleeplessness was scary. , 2021). Literally everything was easier. DD gets 30 hours free at nursery and DS is in primary school. You don’t even realize you are pregnant until you figure out the reason you have gained 20 pounds in four weeks is not solely due to all the playgroup morning teas. And I like the mom that I was to 2 kids more than the mom that I am to 3. Refusing to sleep alone. May 30, 2017 · It’s like having two babies at once because they’re both in nappies, can’t communicate properly, dress or feed themselves. I think working 2-3 days is ideal, to keep your career going and for a break. Jun 12, 2022 · I have 2 kids…a boy and a girl (5 and 2) I don’t want anymore but every so often I get this weird feeling that I might regret it. We are discussing—yet again—whether to have a third child. All were planned. As a parent, you know that it is not easy to take care of a newborn, especially in the first two years. She is the light of my life. Jan 24, 2008 · We've recently begun to consider trying for a third child; we've got two girls already, Madison, 6, and Meara, 2 in February. Mar 22, 2023 · With three, you will never want for love. May 6, 2013 · 441 posts · Joined 2011. Love them to death, I love being a mom! A year ago I thought for sure I was done having kids but now I am unsure. It is the perennial question. Have NCed as people who know me irl frequent these parts. 33% more, but they do. At least six months of transition. when all you want to do is watch Grey's Anatomy Older participants are worried about their increasing age; therefore, their urgency and intention of having a third child are higher than those of young people. Post about anything related to family! This can be questions, stories, and comparisons on families. You have to relive these difficult times all over again. iz vr om ua fw ss rr gw qk de